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The little gnome's name was Bradley Taylor Danforth and in his youngerdays he'd been known as an innovative - if eccentric - genius in theobscure field of sub-quantum determination. Given an intellect spokenon par with that of Heisenberg or Einstein, his then-few eccentricitieshad been overlooked - but it's said there is a fine line between geniusand madness and in the case of Bradley Danforth, that line hadcollapsed under the weight of his eighty-seven years on the planet.Now, Danforth's genius was directly wedded to - and under the controlof - his madness."Morons!" Danforth resumed his shouting at the imperturbable oldrafters that made up the ceiling of his Victorian home's attic. "Refuseto see the truth! 'Oh, Danforth, no scientific principal can be made towork based simply on the interaction of human consciousness'. Whatabout Shroedinger's Cat, you imbeciles?"Reaching the workbench, Danforth laid the box beside his half-assembleddevice and quickly went to work, his gnarled hands. The hip swing wasalmost natural once you walked like this, and I know the way I wouldhave reacted to seeing a girl in a skirt like this swinging her assback and forth."Perfect!!! Ok you will need to keep practicing for the rest of theweek. It still looks awkward but you will get the hang of it.Besides, I need to teach you how to put a little extra oomph into thatswing!!!" I just glared at her again, "You know, you so owe me for this!" He, you shouldn't have made that bet!!! Now let's keep practicing!"For the next several hours she had me walking around the apartment,commenting on how to walk, sit stand, how to move my arms and how tobend over. It was really weird and very awkward as she kept commentingon how cute my butt looked. We went on like that until almost 1130before she finally said it was good enough and let me undress. Mywaist hurt, my legs hurt, and my feet hurt. But I was relieved once Igot the gaff off and there was no damage. I collapsed into bed afterputting on.
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